I’M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE EARTH BUT THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE SPEAKING AT ONCE, is about my experiences with my mental health. I’ve been struggling for a few years now, and this project is a reflection of that experience. I’ve felt lost, out of place, disoriented, adrift, totally out of touch and disconnected from my own body and the world around me. I’ve often felt anger, sadness and confusion, wondering why my brain (dys)functions the way it does. Why is everything so loud all the time? It’s too much.
The title is a reference to the overwhelming feeling brought on by anxiety and the sensory overload that I’m dealing with on an almost constant basis. In the literal sense, I try to ‘listen to the earth’ as often as possible – the natural rhythms are calming, and being in a natural space is one of the few times I feel grounded, and everything seems ok for a moment. Some of the images are repetitive – I like the comfort of predictability, sameness is safeness. But when our brains get used to seeing something, they block the information out. I am passive and disengaged from everything. I drift in and out, passing through from place to place. Hoping to find an anchor in this vast and unknown sea that I am trying so desperately to stay afloat in.
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